The Impact of the GLS | A Challenge to Forgive

Steve Slack is a teaching pastor at Pathway Church in Wichita, KS. His church has hosted the GLS since 2005, and he serves as the onsite host. In 2009, Steve sat in the front row, preparing for his role—unaware of what God had in store.

During the GLS that year, there was a convergence of a number of different things going on in my life and for my family.  Since 1990, I had served in ministries in five different roles in five different churches, including the church I’m still serving in here in Wichita. Three of those five ministry experiences had been difficult, filled with conflict, discouraging, and had led to church splits at two out of three of my ministry experiences. They were awful!

Wess Stafford spoke at the GLS that year, and one of the most memorable moments was when he held a match up with tears streaming down his face. It’s an image I cannot forget. Wess talked about needing to forgive because the hatred in his heart was taking up space reserved for God, and God alone.

As I listened to Wess, names, faces and experiences I had tried to forget came rushing back into my heart, mind and life. More than once during my past experiences, I had wanted to quit ministry all together due to the toll it was taking on my life and my family. I never blamed God—I just wasn’t sure that the local church and ministry were for me after all. If the local church was still the “hope of the world,” I hadn’t found one yet, and I wasn’t experiencing much joy through trying to help the church become that hope once again. It was killing me and my family, frankly.

Wess helped me realize that my unwillingness to forgive and move beyond was simply another form of idolatry, and God did not want that for me or my life – It was a way for me to remain in control. The pain of the past that I held onto was taking up residence in my heart and life and making it that much more difficult for me to be completely surrendered to God 24/7.

I realized that I did truly hold hatred, resentment and anger toward a number of people, and I began to write their initials down on a piece of scrap paper I found on the seat next to me. I wrote down the initials of about 12 people. That day I realized that more fully and knew that I had to come clean. I at least had to come clean with God and make the effort to come clean with the 12 sets of initials on that sheet of paper.

In going through my list, I realized or was reminded of several things. I was tempted to turn this task into accomplishing something, making it once again about me and getting the response I wanted or felt like I deserved from others. I realized that for my darkened heart, this was just another form of idolatry along the way. Wes helped me realize and understand that forgiveness cannot be based on my understanding of fairness, justice or receiving the proper response. Forgiveness is ALL about God and not about me or others. I now have a better and greater understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness.

Each year it seems the bottom line is that the GLS helps me see God as bigger, better, greater and more gracefully trustworthy than I believed Him to be. Every year, the GLS produces in me a heart that is more surrendered to God. I always come away seeing God more clearly and myself more clearly at the same time. The GLS helps me grow as a leader, and that’s exactly what happened as I listened to Wess Stafford. God increased and I decreased!  A win, win!

If God can use the greatest and most egregious injustice in human history (the Cross) to literally save and transform the entire world, why would I believe He cannot use everything in life for the good? And God usually does this in ways and through people and means I would have never expected. That’s just like God!

Life IS indeed too short and God’s grace and forgiveness too great to allow “un-forgiveness” to rule my heart and life. It is still a work in progress, but I would say to others, do whatever you can and whatever it takes to rid your heart and life of bitterness, anger, resentment, grudges and hate. The world is dying to see hearts and lives fully surrendered to Jesus Christ, not partially surrendered and otherwise compartmentalized. We don’t need God to live with divided hearts—we’re quite capable of that on our own. Only God makes a whole heart through Jesus. Don’t live with part of a heart.

In my role and for the church, I want this Jesus who forgives, heals and restores hearts to be and become The King!  He is the hope of the world and the local church must fully surrender to Him if the local church is to proclaim the good news with integrity, truth and credibility. God is bigger, better, greater and more completely full of truth, grace, love, mercy and justice!  He’s the God who must be seen in my life and in His Church!

The GLS helps me rid my life of idolatry every year when I see God more clearly again and again. Jesus said, “In this world you WILL have trouble. Take heart. I have overcome the world!”  Amen.